Greggo's Secret Stash
by Scourge o' the Caspian
Summary: ...the new lab tech, Alex Hoyt, learns first hand why you never mess with greggo's blue hawaiian brew...


updated author notes

ok, first off, i would like to thank everyone who has reviewed...thank you. i feel loved. but as was poiunted out. yes the format was kinda messed up, cause the site decided it didnt like asterics and brackets... so i re-wrote putting it into story form,

and i added a little to the beginning. so read again and see if you like it any better. also, this was ment to be a one shot, no pairings...but im willing to negotiate... if you want me to turn this into a chapter story, than review.

oh, did i make it clear that i dont mind flames, constructive criticizem is always good. i know capitilization and punctuation arent there, im lazy.

...Oh, by the way , TheSiriusSparrow:...if i had spellcheck, it would have been used. unfortunately, i only have word pad. and that option isnt there. but maybe one day ill find it :)

---------------original author notes-------------

ok, im a newbie at this, and most of my stories, including this one, was written in a notebook, by to freakish kids, (me, and my friend), hyped up on caffine during a sleepover, at 5:30 in the morning...you know, that time when everything you say is freaking hilarious for some odd reason?... anyways, yay me! posting my first fic-let...does the super hyper java - induced - coma - overly sugarfied happy dance

oh, by the way, actions are shown in asterics...puts an example...speech is plain... and thoughts are bracket-ed... and if you see a word that dosent belong to any language, let alone english, well, that is my hyper- ness making up odd words. now boys and girls, its time for the show!

I OWN NOTHING!... cept alex... and she is really my friend's character...so im borrowing her also...

**_and the hazmat pudding was the complete idea of the author of the wize words of greg...wherever you are, if you have an objection to me using it in my fic, because of how much i adored your brilliance... please review, and ill rewrite that part._** and even if you like it, i would LOVE to see what you think of this, so PLEASE! speak your mind!

**Greggo's Secret Stash**

"Does anyone else have any points that they would like to discuss before I dismiss you?"

Grissom said, kinda boredly waiting for the rest of the weekly meeting to wrap up. The way he is just zoned out, staring at some invisible point in the distant wall, unblinking, shows that he hasent had his hourly cup of coffee yet. Its though going three shifts without an hourly supply of java, and the crap in the breakroom dosent exactly help. Unless, of course he makes the pot, and then its way too strong for the rest of the lab to touch, thus starting a mini war over gregs fabled "secret stash" of imported blue hawaiin coffee beans, cold imported creamer and precious imported sugar, straight off the cane.

Just the thought was enough to make the team try to sabotauge the break room to find out its hidden location. warrick attempted to stay in the room when the pot was empty, and wait for greg to start a new one.

But the little lab rat guarded his treasure ferociously, and knew to watch out.

Grissom himself even attempted to set up a hidden camera, but that plan was laid to waste as well when greg found an extra plug in the wall socket, while plugging in his radio.

Greg awnsered his question without raising his hand. "Other than the fact that you people keep stealing my coffee, and i'm seriously contemplating lacing it with something?... no..."...he childishly folded his arms and pouted.

grissom, looking quite suprised at that approached the situation accordingly...by changing the subject.

"Uh...yeah...anyway, everybody knows the fact that we've hired another lab tech, Alex Hoyt. Greg, i'm going to assign her to you ... show her the ropes... and please dont try and conduct any expiraments on this one, without her prior knowledge...ok?

...the room breaks out in snickers and child like giggles...

Greg held up his hands defensively..."who, me?"...feigning guilt, he continued... "...oh, alright...it wasent _my_ fault that the old techie couldnt handle the chemical chocolate bar I made...that was really good on ice cream too"...he sighs..."there could have been a nobel prize in that one,...so...what about initiation rites?...

..the entire team breaks out into evil plotting smirks...

Grissom lifted an eyebrow, not bored anymore, but actually paying attention. Greg's silly plots had that effect on people... "initiation rites?"...he smirks, and lets out a small laugh of disbelif..."you sound like a bunch of college kids"..he pauses thinking.."ok, ok, this is too good to pass up...any ideas?"

-------------next day-----------------

Alex walks down the hall with griss, being givin the tour...they stop at the break room, which griss has just explained about... curiously she asks him, "so,... I can have coffee whenever I want?"...realizing her disrespect she adds..."i mean, when i'm not working"...

Grissom answers in a kid-ish way, giving the inside scoop..."you will figure out soon enough that this coffee is really the only thing that is keeping us from commiting murder ourselves some nights...it becomes essential after awhile... so yes... you have an unlimited supply at your disposal... just be considerate...if you empty the pot, put a new one on"...

Alex follows him into the break room..."mmm! coffee!"...she advances toward a coffee pot with a fresh pot on it, and pours a cup, but stops in her tracks as grissom gives a quick command...

"**Stop!"**... in a normal tone, he continues, explaining.."I wouldnt advise that... that is our other lab tech's special brew... hes not to fond of sharing"...quietly he adds..."we think he may have laced it with something, but no one really believes he would... just the same, no one can get close enough to the lab to run tests on it without alerting him"...

Just then, Greg walks past the door...throws it in reverse, and sticks his head in the doorway..." Hey griss, whats goin o-"...seeing the newbie with a cup of coffee in her hand changes his mood quick..."woah...step AWAY from the coffee"... ..."who sent you?...FBI?...CIA?...**Folgers?**"... he got closer to her with each accusation, untill his face was an inch away from hers...then he bolts off down the hall without warning yelling...**I HAVE TO GET THE ANTIDOTE!**...

Griss looks at the freakified alex and smirks... "that would be your lab partner, Greg Sanders"...

Alex replied, shrugging off the freakish expierience..."wow... so then wheres the real coffee?... or do i have to steal some drugged up coffee?"...she thought to herself, _im starting to fear for my sanity already..._

Griss makes a slightly disgusted face..."that lumpy crud is over there... personally, i'd take my chances with greg's coffee... drug, or no drug"...

Alex questioned, confused by this last statement,..."so i should sneak?"...she picks up the cup again...

Catherine walks in quietly, sneaking up on alex, griss sees her, but dosent give her away..."Stealing already?...you learn fast"... she glances at griss accusingly...

Grissom smirks evilly..."guinea pig"...

alex, giving into the wonderful smell, downs her cup..."oh...my...GOD!...this stuff is so good! i _so_ have to get some of this!"...Greg runs back in..."im out of antidote"...

Griss's smirk goes straight and serious..."what?"...you arent,...serious"..."right?"... Greg's sheepish grimace is enough to show he isnt joking. Grissom continues, hoping it isnt true... "Greg, you didnt really lace the coffee"..."right?"... "greg, tell me you didnt lace the coffee"...Greg stood there...still grimacing...Grissom sood there, unbelieving... "**WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"**...

greg, yelling back..."WELL IT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HADN'T TOLD HER TO!"...

grissom again,..."ITS **COFFEE"**...

warrick walks in quickly...concerned..."whats going on?"...

Griss turns to warrick, still irritated, and poins at alex while still looking at warrick... "she drank the coffee!"...

warrick now worried, "oh god"...really freaked out now..."Griss!...Greg laced it with something!"...

griss awnsered, irritated...Yeah! so ive heard!...

alex stood there...all calm and unbelieving..."laceing coffee?...nice try guys... like i'd believe that a csi would lace coffee"...

greg, insulted..."im NOT a csi"...

alex trying to clear things up."no, youre a lab technician"...

Greg awnsered..."exactly"

grissom added..."means, Motive, and Oppertunity"...

alex questioned,..."so...im your test subject...with what!"...her disbelif turns to worry...

greg began, explaining himself, "well... remember that pudding i made, that HAZMAT took away?"...

grissom stated..."you didnt"...

alex, completely lost now..."what pudding?... IM GONNA DIE!"...

Cath, concernedly... "greg"... "i thought HAZMAT destroyed that"...

..."nope...used it as coffee protecter"...was the simple reply

cath was impressed..."wow... what was in it?"...

griss took over..."nitroglycol...glucose... peroxide... and chocolate"... scientifically rattling off names of chemicals...

warrick, now not worried, but curious..."nothin wrong with that"..

Griss finished... "till hodges refrigerated it"...

..."oh shit"...warrick added

alex,...freaking out... "I JUST DRANK POISONOUS SHIT!"... "WHAT?"...

griss,...taking action... "just calm down"...all in one breath, really fast, like how he gives off assignments, he rattles off instructions..."greg...get the paramedics,...cath, stay with her...warrick...get nick"...

...everyone bolts except for cath, who is trying to comfort alex, and keep her responsive...

alex asks in a tiny, tear filled voice..."is he psyco?"...she slimes down the wall she was leaning on, her eyes glazed, looking straight ahead, her feet straight out lying on the floor...she begins to feel nausious...and dizzy...

cath awnsers, trying to reassure her..."he is sometimes... stay with me, ok?...alex?...ALEX?...come on... stay awake"...

_-----------just around the corner, outside the door---------------_

nick whispers "aww man, were pretty good actors!...so...should we go back in yet?"...

grisssom is leaning happily on the wall, his plan has worked without a hitch...his lips curl into an evil smirk...

"let her make herself crazy fore awhile"...

warrick chuckles shaking his head..."man griss, never thought you'd get in on this"...

griss put on an innocent face..."well, im allowed to welcome the the new girl too...right?"...

they all laugh, trying hard too keep it quiet...

greg says inbetween laughs "one cup is a small price to pay for this"... he realises what hes said and quickly changes mood..."NOOOOOO! MY COFFEE!"...he wisper-shouts...

...they all listen like kids at christmas...

_--------------breakroom----------------_

alex says quietly to cath..."he was actually kinda cute... till he had to go and kill me"...

cath stares at her almost speechless, and says unbelivingly..."wow"...

_-----------back with the guys---------------_

...griss, nick and warrick turn doubting glances to greg, who has a big cheezy grin plastered across his face...

_breakroom_

Cath is confused... "theyre taking an awfully long time"...

alex, resighning her self to just wait for the inevidable..."so what... i'll be dead anyway"...

...a chorous of manly-childish giggles can be heard...

Alex turns a suspicious face to the door..."wait...did you hear that?...that kinda sounded like-"...

(cut to a view of the beautifal vegas crime lab building, one loud, suspicious word is heard all the way outside and birds are startled from a nearby tree, like in movies...)

...**HEY!**

**-----**end notes**-----**

ok, well thats it. so... howd you like it?...not bad for my first fic, is it...IS IT?...pleeeease review... be it flame or praise, i dont care... i feel loved if you reed it...so r&r, and if you want this turned into a chappy fic, or just kept a one shot fic-let, id like to know your views also...'kay! thanks...hope you enjoyed.


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